Hi.

Hello stalker.

I think you're swell.

Count Dracula

First off, read this.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Countess_Elizabeth_Bathory

Although the Wikipedia article says that the accounts of her bathing in blood are false, the History Channel says they are true. I saw her bath in it myself countless times. Sure it was an actress, but I'm convinced.

Tonight we watched a special on the History Channel about how legends of vampires formed through historical and other origins. I'm glad Jay wasn't there, or else I would have had the word "folklore" repeated rhythmically throughout the show. Needless to say, the entire thing was a bit more than freaky. Once they snaked down through the ages of myths, they started to describe vampire cults in our own age. That's when I left the room.

Pigs will fly before I go to Area 51. I'm keeping my throat safe.

So I Married a Monster from Outer Space

Ted and Lynn were married this Saturday.
"This ring shall ever be the symbol of my growing love." What the two of them decided they couldn't memorize will forever be embedded in my brain due to their giggling repetitions.

In the ceremony my dad read, he was forced to use dancers as a metaphor. My father, who refused to dance more than half a song at that one, ridiculous Father/Daughter Dance we attended, used dancers as a metaphor. It could have also been used as a metaphor for my chair, which was shaking faster than Carolyn's salsa hips.

I held it in. But it was hard.

I also had a Xanga site back in the day.

Try to find that.

Natalie just told me that there is some low income housing in Kansas where if you have babies, you get to live for free.

I'm moving to Kansas.